Not likely to stoke the same level of enthusiasm that MAY sparked, the most anticipated feature from Lucky McKee leaves the faithful standing naked in a cold monsoon shower. Aside from it’s obvious Argento influence, the presence of iconic cult star Bruce Campbell as a cast member was reason enough to ensure a mile long drool. Unfortunately, the sum of good parts does not a satisfactory movie make.

Heather (Agnes Bruckner) is a problem child with a fascination for burning places down. Her parents (Emma Campbell & Bruce Campbell) bring her to an all-girls private academic institution located deep in the woods, and run by the unruffled Ms. Traverse (Patricia Clarkson) and her bunch of anally-wound teachers. Of course, the academy has a dark past that comes a knocking on the unfortunate of the students (talk about twigs going bump in the night!), and it is up to our intrepid heroine to reach to the bottom of the mystery, while clashing with the resident bully (who re-christens her “fire crotch”), creepy teachers that will not stand her tardiness (Marcia Bennett as the tic-ing Ms. Mackinaw sends a shiver down the spine and out the kazoo) and to prevent further students from ending up as dead foliage in their beds.

Firstly, let me tell you what there is to like in “The Woods” – it is pretty eerie, the lighting and visuals are dark and foreboding, the performances of the key players are note-worthy, and the music is simply fantastic (special mention to the choir music). A feeling of dread is constantly in the air. Where this film also scores is when it doesn’t try to be a horror film and deals with the pains of being a teenager – the normal conversations between the girls, family backgrounds, silly fears, emotional outbursts etc are really engaging.

What prevents this gothic chiller from going for the jugular are clichéd ‘boo’ moments, non-complimentary SFX and some terribly corny dialogues that result in unintentional moments of hilarity. Besides that the gap between the thrills and the spills is too long. For an “R” rated film, it feels like a PG-13 picnic (except for the climax). Lastly, not enough screen-time is allotted to Bruce Campbell who gets to chew only a boundary of the scenery (a sequence of peril has him utter a couple of exquisite one-liners).

For the die-hards and to those that have no inkling to the director’s previous body of work, THE WOODS might come across as refreshingly different. For those who have savoured every bit of MAY and/or fans of Bruce Campbell, it will be a terrible let-down. Imagine Neill Marshall having directed THE CAVE instead of THE DESCENT. Get the drift?